Ok, whoa. Hold the phone. First things first, Pecker is not a real parrot. No, I am not that crazy to get a damned bird. Fish, yes. Dog, yes. Bird, No. Secondly I would like to say that McDonald’s is the reason for this entire story. Yes, I blame the golden M. Though I will admit if McDonald’s did start serving lunch BEFORE 11am then Pecker would not reside with us. So, I guess thank you McDonald’s. It’s all your fault.
On a routine morning trip to Walmart, the kids, as usual, were absolutely famished and wanted chicken and fries as we were leaving. So I, being the BEST mom in the world said, ok, yes we can get McDonald’s. As we rounded the corner I discovered that the breakfast menu was still up. %&#* Seriously McDonald’s? Did you not get the memo from the rest of the fast food world that you need to start serving normal food BEFORE 11am?
Crap. How am I going to keep these hellions occupied for 10 minutes?!? Ah ha! That over priced germ ridden Mickey Mouse ride! Perfect! So off we head in that direction. En route we come across the germ infested hand claw crane grab game (you know the one, like in Toy Story with the aliens?) and Dexter decides that instead of the ride he wants to spend his money on that. Perfect. It’s a win, win situation here, that game is IMPOSSIBLE to win. I know, I’ve tried it before. It will keep him amused AND we won’t have to bring home more cheap junk. So he sets off and tries to grab one of the big guys and sadly I say, oh that’s too bad………but wait……what is this……????…….on the other side there is more smaller even cheaper toys…….and you keep going until you get something…!?!?! WHAT?! And Dexter is determined he is getting one. After Dex tries 10 times, I try 10 times, and then the girls begin screaming because they are bored and hungry. So Dex tries 10 more times, then I hit the glass a couple of times and try 5 more times and on try #36 we are awarded with a parrot. And not just any parrot, a pink parrot. Because that’s what every 4 year old boy wants, a cheap pink bird that ISN’T a flamingo.By now McDonald’s is open, hell it might even be 11:30. I have no idea that stupid game took FOREVER. So we get our food and go home. Wait, let me rephrase that, we get our food, get in the van and I shove French fries at the girls over my shoulder and crank the music the whole way home so they don’t fall asleep.
Dex and I have a great afternoon (thank you AGAIN McDonald’s for your addictive French fries that prevent van naps) and accompanied through all our activities is the pink parrot. That night as I am tucking Dexter, and his pink parrot, in to bed, Dexter tells me he has decided on a name for his treasured parrot. Pecker…..wait, Pecker?!? PECKER?!?! OH, I said, that’s an..interesting name? I must have had a very shocked look on my face since Dexter gave ME the strangest look and said, well he’s a bird mom and birds are always going around “pecking” at stuff, you know they love to peck at everything. Touche. How can anyone not love kids? So I said, you’re right Dexter, it is a perfect name for a bird. Pecker it is. Night, night Dex. Night, night Mr. Pecker.